How To Land A Halloween Night Ride

Halloween comes but once a year, and if you want to experience some bumps in the night, you better have a killer costume (even though it will be on the floor by the end of it - hopefully in someone else's bedroom). 


As much as it's nice to have a laugh at clever costumes, or to say "Awww" to something cute, what's really going to help your cause is having a sexy - yet unique - costume. I'm going to show you how to step your game up, and do something a little bit more original. So that Playboy Bunny costume you were planning to wear? Nope, ditch it. And don't even think about wearing last year's French Maid costume!

In the lyrics of Drake: "Don't do it, please don't do it"

Animals are always a good start. But let's avoid that played out Bunny, the Cat - or even Cat Woman - and sexy Mouse is out too. Think of the least sexy animal. To me, that's a rodent, specifically squirrels. You could try a skunk, or a raccoon too. Find some faux fur items at your local H&M (tons in their winter collection), Forever 21, thrift store, or the like, and make sure only 1/3 of your body is covered. It won't be that cold anyway. Maybe minus five if you're lucky (that's 23 F for all y'all Americans). Next, get an appropriate tail for your desired animal, put on some ear contraption, and with some dark, mysterious make-up, you're set for some wild animal sex.

As you may or may not know, in Canada, it is Girl Guide Mint Cookie season. And if you also didn't know, they're fucking delicious. First things first for your Girl Guide costume, go dig out your old sash and scarf with all those badges on it, you'll need these to legitimize your outfit. Then, you're going to get a crop top (possibly from American Apparel, this one is my fave) or something that will bare some skin. Depending on what sort of Girl Guide you're being, and from what country, is how you can decide which colours to incorporate. In Canada, if you're going to be a Pathfinder, grab the forest green crop top. If you're going to be a Brownie, camel is a good choice. Next, you're going to get a pleated skirt. This could be found literally ANYWHERE. If you're feeling extra you can add a hat or beret. Last thing, and very important, do not forget to bring a box or two of those mint cookies! You'll have men eating out of your hands. Maybe somewhere else too. 

Everyone loves biblical costumes, well, unless you're religious. But, I'm all for blasphemy, so bring on the Holy slutty Mary costumes and the almost naked Eve. For the Mary costume, you will need a dress, preferably blue, red works too. Now you're going to take a pair of sharp scissors and run a slit up the side, the front, or the back. If you like it from behind, then cut it there, give the guys a hint right off the bat. Add a veil, or headdress, and most importantly your Rosary beads. If you feel like adding something extra, carry a bible. Count all of the sins you commit that night. You'll definitely be in need of some reconciliation after your walk of shame the next morning.

You'll need to show a helluva lot more skin than this if you want to be sprinkled with His holy water

Eve is an easy costume. Get some tight, nude leggings and a nude body suit, grab some green foliage (fake from the Dollar Store is ideal), a red apple, and a snake (fake or real). Easy peasy! You're set! 

Whether or not you've chosen one of these fabu ideas, or have been inspired to wear a costume just as intriguing (would love to hear your ideas), I wish you good luck and may you have a safe ride!

- Night Rider