How To Land A Halloween Night Ride

Halloween comes but once a year, and if you want to experience some bumps in the night, you better have a killer costume (even though it will be on the floor by the end of it - hopefully in someone else's bedroom). 


As much as it's nice to have a laugh at clever costumes, or to say "Awww" to something cute, what's really going to help your cause is having a sexy - yet unique - costume. I'm going to show you how to step your game up, and do something a little bit more original. So that Playboy Bunny costume you were planning to wear? Nope, ditch it. And don't even think about wearing last year's French Maid costume!

In the lyrics of Drake: "Don't do it, please don't do it"

Animals are always a good start. But let's avoid that played out Bunny, the Cat - or even Cat Woman - and sexy Mouse is out too. Think of the least sexy animal. To me, that's a rodent, specifically squirrels. You could try a skunk, or a raccoon too. Find some faux fur items at your local H&M (tons in their winter collection), Forever 21, thrift store, or the like, and make sure only 1/3 of your body is covered. It won't be that cold anyway. Maybe minus five if you're lucky (that's 23 F for all y'all Americans). Next, get an appropriate tail for your desired animal, put on some ear contraption, and with some dark, mysterious make-up, you're set for some wild animal sex.

As you may or may not know, in Canada, it is Girl Guide Mint Cookie season. And if you also didn't know, they're fucking delicious. First things first for your Girl Guide costume, go dig out your old sash and scarf with all those badges on it, you'll need these to legitimize your outfit. Then, you're going to get a crop top (possibly from American Apparel, this one is my fave) or something that will bare some skin. Depending on what sort of Girl Guide you're being, and from what country, is how you can decide which colours to incorporate. In Canada, if you're going to be a Pathfinder, grab the forest green crop top. If you're going to be a Brownie, camel is a good choice. Next, you're going to get a pleated skirt. This could be found literally ANYWHERE. If you're feeling extra you can add a hat or beret. Last thing, and very important, do not forget to bring a box or two of those mint cookies! You'll have men eating out of your hands. Maybe somewhere else too. 

Everyone loves biblical costumes, well, unless you're religious. But, I'm all for blasphemy, so bring on the Holy slutty Mary costumes and the almost naked Eve. For the Mary costume, you will need a dress, preferably blue, red works too. Now you're going to take a pair of sharp scissors and run a slit up the side, the front, or the back. If you like it from behind, then cut it there, give the guys a hint right off the bat. Add a veil, or headdress, and most importantly your Rosary beads. If you feel like adding something extra, carry a bible. Count all of the sins you commit that night. You'll definitely be in need of some reconciliation after your walk of shame the next morning.

You'll need to show a helluva lot more skin than this if you want to be sprinkled with His holy water

Eve is an easy costume. Get some tight, nude leggings and a nude body suit, grab some green foliage (fake from the Dollar Store is ideal), a red apple, and a snake (fake or real). Easy peasy! You're set! 

Whether or not you've chosen one of these fabu ideas, or have been inspired to wear a costume just as intriguing (would love to hear your ideas), I wish you good luck and may you have a safe ride!

- Night Rider

Happy 25th Drake!

Image via Drake's Twitter 

Aubrey Drake Graham is one of the sole reason's why I am a Night Rider, most definitely. I only feel right dedicating a post to him on his 25th birthday. Drizzy, thank you for your music, thank you for representing Toronto, and thank you for being so damn sexy. 

- Night Rider

Top 7 Video Boys

Throughout the test of music video time, there has been a spot reserved for "video girls". In 2009, Complex Magazine created a comprehensive list of 50 women from the past decade of video girl fame. Unfortunately, it seems that video boys are not nearly as prominent. Although I have not yet accumulated a list of fifty video boys, here's a good start...

seven.

Brandy - Long Distance

Of all of the guys on this list, I would say Brandy's featured video boy is the manliest of the men. Looks good wearing casual clothes, looks GREAT in a tux. But he'd probably look best wearing nothing at all. Damn. 

six.

Rye Rye featuring Robyn - Never Will Be Mine

As if the song and video weren't on point enough, Rye Rye chooses a gorgeous man to be featured. Edith Zimmerman (from The Hairpin) said it best: "the main (guy) in this video is so hot it is NSFE, not safe for eyes". Love it.

five.

Nicki Minaj - Super Bass

I have a question: Why is Nicki's main guy in the video her main guy? I'm not comprehending this choice. The guy I've picked out in the background is gaining all of my attention. That one with the blue balls ball. They're all looking a little bit shiny - but what's a little shine? I'd hit it.

four.

Destiny's Child - Jumpin' Jumpin'

Definitely not given enough camera time, this guy looks like a Bob Marley reincarnate. I love myself a man with a good set of dreads - and I bet he likes jammin' too.

three.

Beyonce - Countdown

The only thing Beyonce did wrong in this video was not feature this beautiful man enough. Look at what he is wearing, look at his hair, look at his face, look at the way he moves, sheeeiiit, I'm all about it. 

Can we also discuss the fact that he is waiting for some Night Rider's "love on top" over here...

two.

Madonna - Like A Prayer

Madonna changed the game in 1989 when she featured the very handsome Leon Robinson in her music video for "Like A Prayer". Robinson looked damn good in that video and still looks damn good today. DILF status for sure.

one.

Beyonce - Halo

Beyonce is the queen of featuring sexy men in her music videos. Her 2008 video "Halo" features the all around gorgeous and charming, Michael Ealy, whom everyone (must have) fallen in love with. After watching the intensity shared between the two, on screen, there is no doubt that he gets the top spot on my list.

Oh, and Mike... can I hit it in the morning? 

- Night Rider

Defining A Night Rider

Night Rider [nahyt-rahy-der]

noun

A white woman (can sometimes be asian, hispanic, or brown) who chooses to only, or most often, sleep with black men

verb, night·rid·ing

To commit the act of sleeping with black men

Not to be confused with “men [...] in the late 1800s who committed nocturnal acts of violence and intimidation against blacks and black sympathizers” (Night Rider as defined by dictionary.com)

Yvonne: “You know that hot, black guy from Criminal Minds?” (Shemar Moore)
Genevieve: “Oh, are you a night rider too?”

Origin:

1969-2011; night + rider